Linhas gerais sobre segurança

• Se vc vai brincar de amarrar ou bater (spanking) ou outra forma de atividade física intensa, é de boa política estabelecer uma safeword, ou palavra de segurança, que permita ser um aviso que a brincadeira chegou a limites não desejáveis - um pedido de parada.

  Muita gente usa a identificação dos sinais de tráfego, como  Verde  -  Amarelo  -  Vermelho : onde o verde significa que tudo está bem, o amarelo indica "não pare, mas não faça nada mais forte do que isso" e o vermelho indica: "pare imediatamente".

• Tenha extrema cautela quando engajando em atividades BDSM pela primeira vez - particularmente quando você não tiver um conhecimento prévio e íntimo da pessoa - já que isso poderá deixar você numa situação de perigo.

  Sempre combine um primeiro encontro e local público e intensamente frequentado. Não acompanhe um estranho para local algum. Embora essas recomendações sejam ditadas pelo bom-senso e apliquem-se a qualquer sistema de encontros, é fácil esquecer delas na excitação do momento.

• Algo que pode ser útil em algumas vezes, se você irá encontrar alguém que vc não conheça bem num ambiente privado, é combinar com uma pessoa amiga que te telefone a certos intervalos de tempo durante o período do encontro. Defina uma palavra-chave com seu amigo. Se vc NÃO disser a palavra ou se vc não responder aos telefonemas, seu amigo deverá acionar a polícia ou, já que a nossa polícia não é confiável, chamar mais uma pessoa e irem juntas ao local de encontro para uma verificação pessoal. Informe seu parceiro sobre os telefonemas - mas não sobre a palavra-chave. Se ele objetar, provavelmente não é uma companhia confiável.

Spanking, flogging, sensation play

Muita gente deseja experimentar o "flogging", que nada mais é do que um chicote com múltiplas caudas. Eles tem uma aparência perigosa mas, frequentemente - dependendo da pessoa que os empunha - não são dolorosos o quanto parecem.

Entretanto procure evitar os chicotes e floggers baratos, feitos de material não-flexível, vendidos em sex-shops. As correias são grossas e rígidas, as pontas não são arredondadas, resultando em dor e ferimentos. Um bom flogger tem correias macias e não fará ferimentos. Um flogger bem macio, feito com couro de veado, não machuca nada.

If you are paddling or spanking someone, you should be careful where you hit. It's okay to paddle, flog, or spank someone's butt, thighs, or upper back; if you are careful, you can also spank or flog someone's breasts. Stay away from kidneys, lower back, and neck. NEVER strike someone in the face or on the neck with any object. Avoid joints, such as ankles, knees, and elbows--they're surprisingly fragile and easy to damage. Remember that a person who is bent over or in some other position that stretches the long muscles is more vulnerable, and can not take as much, as a person who is in a position where the body's long muscles are not extended.

Hot candle wax is excellent for sensation play. However, all candles are not created equal! If you want to experiment with candle wax, it's best to use plain white paraffin candles, of the kind usually sold in grocery stores as "emergency candles." Scented and colored candles can contain plasticisers that make them burn much hotter. In particular, avoid all-black candles and beeswax candles; these typically burn very hot.

Bondage and restraint

Many people like the idea of tying down their lover, but would rather do it with silk scarves than with ropes or chains, on the idea that silk scarves are more "gentle" and less threatening. Silk scarves, nylon stockings, and so on are actually quite dangerous for bondage, fir two reasons: they tend to pull very tight, making knots difficult to remove; and they tend to pinch, which can cause nerve damage. Good old-fashioned rope is actually far safer.

Spread-eagle restraint can become uncomfortable or painful very quickly. Positions in which the submissive's arms are tied out to the side or are tied to the submissive's waist can be maintained for much longer than positions in which the submissive's arms are over the head.

Handcuffs: the kind you find in sex toy stores are not safe for bondage, because they do not have a "double lock.' real police handcuffs can be double locked, which means that they can be set so that they won't tighten up if you press or sit on them. Cheap handcuffs without a double lock tend to get tighter and tighter if you press on them, sit on them, or struggle against them. You can find real police handcuffs just about anywhere. I got mine in a knife store at a mall.

In general, when you have someone tied up, always be alert for tingling, numbness, or coldness. If you are restrained, and your hands or feet tingle or get numb, this usually means that the restraint is pressing on a nerve. Tell your partner! have your partner loosen the restraints slightly and/or move you so that the tingling goes away. If your hands or feet become cold to the touch, your circulation is being cut off. Again, loosen the restraints or reposition.

• Do not leave a restrained person alone for any reason!
• Do not place anything over the nose and mouth. If you gag your partner, make sure his or her nose is not covered.
• Keep a pair of scissors handy, in case you need to get your partner loose in a hurry and don't have time to untie the ropes. Best is a pair of "bandage scissors," which you can get at a drug store. Bandage scissors have a pointed upper blade but a blunt lower blade; you can slip them beneath a rope without poking or cutting your partner. They're very cheap.

Breath Control

This is also called "erotic asphyxiation," "gasping," "erotic strangulation," and so on. The idea is to choke or strangle someone during sex, to intensify an orgasm.

This is possibly one of the most dangerous of sexual practices. There is no safe way to do it. There is an article on the subject posted at Sexuality.org here. The first section was written by Jay Wiseman, who in addition to being an experienced health-care professional is also experienced with BDSM, and has written several books on the subject.

The greatest danger of gasping is not strangulation. Most people who die doing this die of a massive heart attack, usually 15 or 20 minutes after they're done. So if you think you can just let go of someone's throat and you're safe, you are mistaken.

I won't say "Don't do this," because the people who do this are going to do it anyway. I will say that if you're going to do it, make sure you know the risks! Learn CPR. Know how to deal with coronary arrest. And never, ever, ever, under any circumstances, do it alone.

Anal play

Anal sex, if it is done right, is painless and intensely pleasureable. There are millions of nerve endings in and around your ass, and stimulating these can easily cause orgasm. It should not be painful even the first time you do it, if you do it right.

• Relax. That's the first rule. If you feel yourself tightening up, you aren't relaxed. Relaxation is all it takes to make it painless.

• Use plenty of lubrication--preferably not a water-based lube like KY. Also, avoid so-called "numbing" lubricants; these can mask the sensation of serious injury.

• Never penetrate anyone vaginally with any object or body part that has been inserted anally. Doing this is just begging for a bacterial infection.

• Penetrate your partner slowly, especially if you aren't experienced with anal sex! Give your partner time to relax, especially if you're new at it. Nervousness and fear make you tense up. Take it very slowly, until your partner relaxes. Penetrating a partner who is not relaxed is painful and may cause tears or abrasions, and you don't want either.

• If you want to use anal toys, it's often wise to look for toys which are intended expressly for anal play. Anal toys usually have a flared base, which prevents them from being inserted too far and getting lost. In particular, avoid "bullet" or "egg" style toys for anal play; often, the wires that connect these toys to the battery pack aren't particularly strong, and can easily break if you try to remove the toy by pulling on the wire, leaving the toy in place.

 

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